What's taking a bite out of your delight?

What an awesome experience many of us shared at the Living Proof Live simulcast last weekend. Some of you were right there with me at Second B., others were in another of the 516 locations. All of us were joined together in spirit, worshipping God and hearing Him speak a word to us.

You know, I don't think I'll ever get over the amazement of how He speaks a different word to each of us out of the same message. But if we are listening, He does just that.

I was scribbling notes as fast as my fingers could make that pen move but I know there were probably things worth remembering that I didn't get down on paper. I've gone over my notes a couple of times since the weekend. I want to be sure to ponder on those things He spoke to my heart. Ponder - not to memorize, but to absorb the nuggets of truth He revealed. To allow Him to change me.

I borrowed a line from Beth Moore in titling today's post. I loved her analogy of a jaw taking a bite. Great visual! Of the three things she described as delight stealers, the one that resonated most with me was anger. Anger? Some of you may be asking yourselves, "Her angry? No way!" But when she made the statement, 'Anger can show a control issue.' she had me nailed. That control monster? Oh, she lives large and in charge in my life.

Granted, I don't usually show out with a bout of anger, at least not the raging, yelling kind of anger. But irritability? Oh yeah, I can go there in less than a heartbeat. God kinda got me thinking these past few days. Isn't irritability really anger, just packaged in a more 'polite' term? When I put my bouts of irritability up to God's litmus test, I must admit it comes out positive for the control monster nearly every time. If I am irritable it is probably because something didn't go the way I wanted it to. Plans changed without consulting me. Someone or something got the attention I wanted. I, I, I...see a trend there? My irritability (a.k.a. anger) comes out when I feel I am not able to control a situation or person.

That control issue? Well, too many times I've kinda worn it like a badge of honor. Many of us who are afflicted with it do. Put me in a room with a group of fellow control freaks and we are having our own little convention in no time. I chime in along with the rest of them, "It's just the way I am, right?" Well, not really. Can't use that excuse anymore 'cause God is revealing to me more and more about how I need to let go of that monster. She's not really my friend. And I am SO NOT in control! He is. Even when I pretend to be. Even when I try to be. Girlfriends, this chick is tired of trying to be in control. It flat wears me out, frazzles my nerves, and makes me irritable. Transferred into relationships, it just doesn't work.

So there you have it. The biggest thing I took away from LPL last weekend. The first thing that God wants me give up, once and for all. And I am ready to give it up. Why? Because I'm tired of fighting it, I'm tired of the irritable, grumpy me that too easily shows up. But most importantly, because I want to be able to truly delight in God. And that, my friends, will be much more priceless than any control I pretended to have.

Hugs,
Molly