Missing in Action

Have you wondered where I am? Why it has been two weeks without a post? Did I simply disappear?

The first question only you can answer! I can tackle the other two. Why so long without writing? My all too frequent, but true, answer is that I've been busy. First with an extended weekend visit to northern Indiana to visit with family. Family that we get to see far too infrequently. Then life...back home to a compressed work week and once again I found myself to be quite exhausted by the weekend. Result? Sleeping late, napping, and generally just feeling blah. All too soon Monday rolled around and the race continued. And the stress mounted.

So you see, I didn't disappear. Just got caught up in a self imposed, too full calendar and ran until I simply ran out of me. Seems like that has become a way of life. And ya know what? I am realizing I just can't do that any more. While all of the things that take up space and time on my calendar are important and good things, I am being depleted. Depleted isn't a good place to be. 'Cause then I become either a crabby person who is not fun to be around OR I withdraw from everything and everyone, craving to be a silent hermit. You know, that 'stop the world and let me off for awhile' kind of hermit!

If you have been a reader of this blog for awhile, you may be thinking "I see a trend here." (Or you're thinking, 'get off of this subject, already!!') However, I'm thinking that there are other women out there who can relate.

The past few days found me at one of my lowest points. A place where I cried out to God to fix me, asking Him why I can't do it all without crashing. 'What is wrong with me, God?', I asked. And you know what? I am getting answers. Truthful answers from God to counter the lies that Satan would have me believe. One truth is that I simply can't do it all because I have chosen to fill my calendar with too many outside activities. I say yes too often. I attend some functions because I'll feel guilty if I don't or I'm afraid I will offend someone by not showing up or I think I am expected to be there. It's not that those functions or the people involved aren't important. Most of them are very important. But the bottom line truth is...I can't do it all. I have to choose wisely and that means I have to balance my schedule to protect my health, mental and physical.

So my new calendar is going to have more blanks in it. Fewer evenings away from home. More time to rest and recharge. More time to listen to what God is speaking to me. Above all else, I want to be fully engaged in this wonderful relationship that God has called me into. I don't want to miss even one of His whispers. I don't want to spend my time pursuing anything other than what He desires me to.

Missing in action? Not really. Just consumed by the captivity of activity. But I am choosing now, with God's help, to break free of that captivity.

I think you'll notice a difference! I know my family will.

Hugs,
Molly